Skip to main content

Grumpy Grandma

Feb 02, 2016 04:58PM, Published by Grumpy Grandma, Categories: Acadiana Life



Bonjour ma Cajun friends! It’s me again; opinionated columnist and general know-it-all Mrs. Nettie Mae Avec Domino.

I don’t know if y’all just excited about Mardi Gras or what, but y’all sure got a lot of problems this month, so lets geaux…

Ma first letter say…

Dear Nettie Mae,

My husband never buys me nothin for Valentine Day. How can I make him understand dat to get the love he gotta give da love? I got to feel appreciated!

Signed,

Loveless in Loreauville

Oh Loveless,

Well sha, dats none of my business, but it sounds like you got a attitude problem with ya man. I doubt he’s gonna pick up on any hints you throw at him, so let me share a little ole lady secret dats gonna get his attention. It might also cause a divorce, but it don’t sound like you got much of a marriage anyway... Ok, try this, cook ya man a grand meal for Valentine’s Day to show how much you appreciate him. Make a good bread pudding but add this special ingredient: “Karo Syrup”.  Don’t be shy—use a lot of dat. Then after the meal is over, give him a card that says this: “Tonight when you’re running to the bathroom, I hope you think about why you couldn’t run to the store to get me some flowers and a card.” That’ll learn him quick.

Feel da Love!

Nettie Mae

Letter #2 say…

Dear Nettie Mae,

I live on the parade route, how can I keep people out my yard during Mardi Gras?

~Anonymous

Buella!

I know dat’s you! I told you not to buy a house on the parade route! Dats da party people—they don’t mean no harm… But if you want to fix the problem here’s what you do. Sit on ya porch wearing your best Moomoo and hold a sign… On da front side say, “Step in my yard and I’m gonna flash you!!!.” On da backside say, “Pee on my bush and I’ll show you my tush!” TRUST ME Buella!!! Aint nobody gonna geaux in your yard again.

Nettie

Then I get…

Dear Nettie Mae,

I haven’t been to church in 43 years. Do I still have to eat seafood on Fridays during Lent?

Signed,

Meaty in Mamou

Hey big Meaty, let me guess? You single and you weigh more than 400 lbs!

Tete Dur… why you don’t want to eat seafood on Fridays? It’s delicious and it helps the fishermen.  Eat you some damn seafood and geaux back to church!  

And finally, for the six of you dat wrote to ask, “…Do I have to go to work on Leap Day?” Pauvre bête, ...of course you do couyon! Be happy you got a job!

Until next time, Au revoir y’all,

Mrs. Nettie Mae Avec Domino

grumpy@faceacadiana.com




Grumpy Grandma


  • St. Thomas More Cheer Clinic

    07/27/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    The St. Thomas More cheerleaders will be holding a summer cheer clinic Tuesday July 25th- 28th (9...


  • St. Thomas More Cheer Clinic

    07/28/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    The St. Thomas More cheerleaders will be holding a summer cheer clinic Tuesday July 25th- 28th (9...


  • The 24 Hour Citizen Project

    07/29/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Have an idea for your community, but not sure how to get it done? At the 24 Hour Citizen Project,...


It looks like we don't have any events for this date. You can always add an event.

It looks like we don't have any events for this date. You can always add an event.

  • Educational Seminar

    08/02/2017
    06:00PM — 08:00PM

    Come learn more about why so many Americans are sick today, and what you can do about it! Free bo...


  • St. Thomas More Cheer Clinic

    07/27/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    The St. Thomas More cheerleaders will be holding a summer cheer clinic Tuesday July 25th- 28th (9...


  • St. Thomas More Cheer Clinic

    07/28/2017
    09:00AM — 12:00PM

    The St. Thomas More cheerleaders will be holding a summer cheer clinic Tuesday July 25th- 28th (9...


  • The 24 Hour Citizen Project

    07/29/2017
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Have an idea for your community, but not sure how to get it done? At the 24 Hour Citizen Project,...


  • Travis Matte & the Kingpins

    07/30/2017
    03:00PM — 09:00PM

    Bar hours 3-9 p.m. Live music from 4-8 p.m. Happy Hour 3-4 p.m. 21+ ONLY


  • Educational Seminar

    08/02/2017
    06:00PM — 08:00PM

    Come learn more about why so many Americans are sick today, and what you can do about it! Free bo...


  • Night of Worship & Music

    08/05/2017
    07:00PM

    Join the Trinity Bible Church worship band on Saturday, August 5th at 7pm as they create a unique...


  • Poetry by Candlelight

    08/06/2017
    08:00PM — 11:00PM

    It's a new look on an old art form; Poetry by Candlelight. The public is welcome to perform their...


  • Educational Seminar

    08/09/2017
    06:00PM — 08:00PM

    Come learn more about why so many Americans are sick today, and what you can do about it! Free bo...


  • Literacy Celebration

    08/09/2017
    06:00PM — 08:00PM

    Join us for a fun filled evening of storytelling, book making and much more! This family affair i...


  • Mini Blues Fest #5

    08/12/2017
    07:00PM

    Acadiana Blues Society is hosting the Fifth Annual International Blues Music Day Celebration on A...


  • Educational Seminar

    08/16/2017
    06:00PM — 08:00PM

    Come learn more about why so many Americans are sick today, and what you can do about it! Free bo...


 

 

Current Issue