Skip to main content

Stuck in Hand-Me-Downs

Aug 30, 2017 10:08AM ● Published by Don Short

I want to get rid of these overalls.

I grew up on a farm in Northwestern Ohio. My dad was a farmer similar to several of my relatives that also lived in the area. Both of my parents came from large families and decided to have a large family of their own. My mom had eight children, seven of which were boys. I had five older brothers and one younger one. I have one sister who is one year older than I.

What do you think happens when you have five older brothers? You end up with a lot of hand-me-downs! We were a poor family and I know that my parents did the very best to provide for and take care of all of us. All of our basic needs were met, but for each of us, developing and finding our own individuality can be a challenge. The hand-me-downs one has to deal with, the more problematic this process can become. The only two things that I remember that were specifically mine are a book about a fox and a hen and also a teddy bear that squeaks when you squeezed it. I still have this teddy bear and I think it represents one of the few things that I received as a child that I didn’t have to share with my siblings. It was mine and still is. 

The worst hand-me-down item that I remember and the one I hated the most was a pair of bibbed overalls. The thing that I hated most about them was that they seemed impossible to outgrow. If they started to feel tight, all mom would do was adjust the suspenders and they would seem to fit better. I wanted a new pair of pant that would be my own. Not adjustable overalls that I hated. I felt stuck! When can I finally get some new pants that are mine! Many of you understand what I am talking about. I am talking about pants here, but there are many things that are parents hand down to us, some good and some bad. The good things tend to stick to us like teflon and the bad things tend to stick to us like velcro. 

Examples of good hand-me-downs may include:

1. Teaching us to be loving and caring.

2. Being respectful to others.

3. How to communicate and solve problems in a healthy way.

Examples of bad hand-me-downs may include:

1. Anxiety and fear.

2. Bitterness and resentment.

3. Addiction.

4. Anger and prejudice.

AS PARENTS WE NEED TO DO TWO THINGS.

1. We need to get rid of the bad hand-me-downs we received from our parents. I picked up a lot of anxiety from my father and throughout my life I have worked to rid myself from it and to make sure that I do not pass it on to my children.

2. We need to actively seek to hand down good and positive things to our children and grandchildren.

Financial constraints can still necessitate the handing down of toys and clothes. In other areas, we as parents have greater choices. In the areas of emotional and social hand-me-downs let’s choose wisely what we pass on to our children. If you feel stuck in your “hand-me-downs”, consider counseling, as it can be a great way to help you leave those bad or negative hand-me-downs behind.

 

Don Short is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). His practice focuses on clients with marriage, relationship and family issues. To learn more contact 337-781-4565 or AfterHoursCounseling.com

To read more of Don's article, 

Health, Family, Acadiana Life Face Magazine Lafayette Don Short After Hours Counseling
  • Citizenship Classes

    02/19/2018
    05:00PM — 07:30PM

    NINE WEEK COURSE Beginning Wednesday, January 17th MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY EVENINGS 5:00-7:30 P.M....


It looks like we don't have any events for this date. You can always add an event.

  • Citizenship Classes

    02/21/2018
    05:00PM — 07:30PM

    NINE WEEK COURSE Beginning Wednesday, January 17th MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY EVENINGS 5:00-7:30 P.M....


  • Free-Throw Thursdays

    02/22/2018
    04:00PM — 05:00PM

    Every Thursday of the months of January and February join friends and fellow basketball lovers fo...


  • Spring Exhibition Opening Reception

    02/23/2018
    06:00PM — 08:00PM

    Join us in celebration of two new exhibitions! Drinks, light refreshments, and music will be prov...


  • NBHA

    02/23/2018
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Barrel race free family fun! come out to the SugArena for a great barrel show.


  • Célébration de la Danse

    02/24/2018
    10:00AM — 04:00PM

    Put on your dancing shoes and join us for this exciting, informative event celebrating traditiona...


  • Lafayette Reads Together Film Screening

    02/24/2018
    02:00PM — 03:45PM

    As a part of the Lafayette Read Together event, two films will be screened in February for those ...


  • The Globetrotters are bringing their iconic "high-flying, fun and memory-making" show to Lafayett...


  • Citizenship Classes

    02/19/2018
    05:00PM — 07:30PM

    NINE WEEK COURSE Beginning Wednesday, January 17th MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY EVENINGS 5:00-7:30 P.M....


  • Citizenship Classes

    02/21/2018
    05:00PM — 07:30PM

    NINE WEEK COURSE Beginning Wednesday, January 17th MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY EVENINGS 5:00-7:30 P.M....


  • Free-Throw Thursdays

    02/22/2018
    04:00PM — 05:00PM

    Every Thursday of the months of January and February join friends and fellow basketball lovers fo...


  • Spring Exhibition Opening Reception

    02/23/2018
    06:00PM — 08:00PM

    Join us in celebration of two new exhibitions! Drinks, light refreshments, and music will be prov...


  • NBHA

    02/23/2018
    06:00PM — 09:00PM

    Barrel race free family fun! come out to the SugArena for a great barrel show.


  • Célébration de la Danse

    02/24/2018
    10:00AM — 04:00PM

    Put on your dancing shoes and join us for this exciting, informative event celebrating traditiona...


  • Lafayette Reads Together Film Screening

    02/24/2018
    02:00PM — 03:45PM

    As a part of the Lafayette Read Together event, two films will be screened in February for those ...


  • A Taste of Jazz

    02/25/2018
    03:00PM — 03:45PM

    A jazz trio of smooth sounds and warm vocals, just right for a Sunday afternoon with vocalist Pat...


  • Citizenship Classes

    02/26/2018
    05:00PM — 07:30PM

    NINE WEEK COURSE Beginning Wednesday, January 17th MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY EVENINGS 5:00-7:30 P.M....


  • The Art of Musical Composition

    02/28/2018
    10:00AM — 12:00PM

    Join us for a concert organized by the UL Lafayette School of Music on staff composer, Dr. Quincy...


  • Citizenship Classes

    02/28/2018
    05:00PM — 07:30PM

    NINE WEEK COURSE Beginning Wednesday, January 17th MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY EVENINGS 5:00-7:30 P.M....


  • Shadows Spring Arts & Crafts Fair

    03/03/2018
    09:00AM — 04:00PM

    Twice a year, the Shadows hosts more than 100 vendors selling their hand-crafted items. From the ...


  • Wildlife in the Garden

    03/03/2018
    10:00AM — 11:00AM

    Join us for this free seminar at 10am on Wildlife in your Garden. You will learn about attracting...


  • Participate in a family workshop with photographer and film-maker James Edmunds. He will offer ti...


  • Citizenship Classes

    03/05/2018
    05:00PM — 07:30PM

    NINE WEEK COURSE Beginning Wednesday, January 17th MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY EVENINGS 5:00-7:30 P.M....


  • Toddler Time

    03/07/2018
    10:00AM — 11:00AM

    Parents and their children will enjoy story time, songs with finger play, participate in a hands-...


  • Citizenship Classes

    03/07/2018
    05:00PM — 07:30PM

    NINE WEEK COURSE Beginning Wednesday, January 17th MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY EVENINGS 5:00-7:30 P.M....


  • Artist Talk with Lynda Frese

    03/07/2018
    06:00PM — 08:00PM

    Kick off Women’s History Month with local artist Lynda Frese. She will share a gallery tour of he...


  • 10th Annual Birdie with the Bar Golf Tournament

    03/09/2018
    12:00PM — 08:00PM

    The 10th Annual Birdie with the Bar Golf Tournament hosted by the Lafayette Bar Association Young...


  • We are the Knights of Columbus, St. Pius X Council 8901 in Lafayette, Louisiana. The K of C are ...


  • Join us and the Lafayette Parish Master Gardeners for this free Q&A session and special topic tal...


  • Yoga in the Galleries

    03/10/2018
    11:00AM

    Join us on the second Saturday every month for yoga at the Hilliard Museum led by an RYT-200 cert...


  • The Shadows-on-the-Teche Plein Air Painting Competition is a juried competition featuring plein a...


 

 

CURRENT ISSUE