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Grumpy Grandma

Jun 01, 2015 02:57PM ● By Grumpy Grandma

Bonjour my Cajun friends, it’s me again, opinionated columnist and general know it all Mrs. Nettie Mae Avec Domino.

Well peoples, you not gonna believe this one… The other night I was lying in my bed [all snug as a bug], den all of a sudden I seen it! The bright lights! I thought it was the second coming or something. Excited; I rosed up thinking I was about to meet my maker! SWEET JESUS I cried!!! But as soon as it appeared, it was gone. Then, in a flash it was back. Then it was gone. Then it was back… my water hit the floor… ole Nettie Mae didn’t know what to do or where to go. So I grabbed my shotgun [just in-case] and tip-toed to the window.  Mon dieu! It wasn’t my sweet Jesus, it was a new sign da put up at the grocery store across the street. Son of a biscuit I cried!!!  I went from the second coming to a marketing billboard in da blink of an eye… Dat sign lit up the sky like it was the 4th of July in downtown Port Barre!  “Shop at Boot’s”, “Beer 2 for 1”, “Congratulations Bruce & Caitlyn”, “We sell Medical Marijuana” or something like dat… All I know was dat every night since, ole Nettie Mae gotta cover her eyes with a extra pillow jus to get some sleep… Now you know dat ain’t right.

Well, enough was enough, so the next morning I called the law. I tried to reach that handsome Mr. Lt. Clay Higgins, but they said, “…he was out looking for fugitives”. I said, “well don’t bother dat man he got enough to do”. So I got transferred to da man in planning and zoning and you not gonna believe what he said… “Well yea Nettie Mae, they got a permit for dat sign and there ain’t nothing I can do to turn it off”.  Hmmm, well I ain’t happy about it, but like I always say, “you gotta be nice to get nice”, so Nettie Mae’s gonna stay on the down-low for a while to see if dat store’s gonna turn off dat sign at night like I asked. If not, I’m pretty sure I got some buckshot that will reach dat sign from my window… I’m just sayin.   

Anyway, I got a lot more to tell y’all but da people at FACE said they only got room for this much. So if you wanna read more about what I got to say, get yourself on da inter web to  OR, if you got something to tell or need advice? Send you stuff to [email protected] and I’m gonna read it.  

Au revoir y’all,

Mrs. Nettie Mae Avec Domino