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You Can't Get To Da Vatican From Here!

Oct 05, 2015 05:32PM ● By Grumpy Grandma
It’s me again — opinionated columnist and general know it all, Mrs. Nettie Mae
Avec Domino. 

WELL, it’s been a busy month 
for ole Nettie Mae… 

Oh y’all I’m so mad I could spit nails! 

Let me tell you what happened. There I was, trying to take a left on Johnston Street when all of a sudden (BOOM), out of nowhere dis big election sign falls off a truck and hits my Buick! Dat man didn’t even stop, he just kept on truckin. I tried to chase him, but by the time I got to Maurice, I done lost em… So, I pass back to the scene of the crime to see whose sign had jumped out at me and you not gonna believe this… so many people had run over dat sign, all I could read was “R__elect”… well, Mr. R__elect, you better not win, because if you do, you got a dint to fix on my 72 Buick! Pas bon y’all, pas bon…

Anyway, I got a lot of letters this month, but this one hit close to home:

I went to the Vatican and all I saw was soybean fields and mobile homes!
There was Vatican Road, Pope Drive and even Bishop Street. I searched for the Sixtine 
 Chapel till I got to Sunset, but it weren’t there, no Mikle-An-Jello, no Pope, no nutten and when I finally got to Vatican Square, all there was, was a Notary & Welding shop… in the same building!!! I taught, Oh my God, dat economy so bad da done repo’d the church!
Mon dieu!
What should I do to help?
Signed — Confused in Cankton

Oh cher hold on a minute. First, let me tell you dat da Pope, da Church and da Vatacan is fine. You just got some bad directions. I know, because it happened to me da Easter of 1971. Here’s what happened, I went to midnight mass, sunrise services and morning mass and took Communion each time… next thing I know my head is spinning and I’m askin  directions to the Vatican… That man told me, “…go to Carencro and turn west, you can’t miss it”. Well cher, after 3 days of searching I can tell you dat ain’t the Vatican you looking for… you looking for the other Vatican and you can’t get there without a boat. But I’m gonna tell ya, you heart is in the right place and Sweet Jesus knows it.
Ton Ami ~ Nettie Mae

Ok y’all, dats all I got time for today, but if you got something to tell me or need sum advice, get yourself in the inter web and send me a email.
Au revoir y’all,