Embrace Being Single
Feb 14, 2016 10:29PM
● By Caitlin Marshall
Whether you’ve been single for a while or you’re going through a breakup, being single is an exquisite time in one’s life. It may not feel like that for some of you right now. And for good reason!
Society is conditioned to think of singledom as an ailment, something they must help you to fix. Well meaning friends and relatives offer unsolicited encouraging words and of course they know of some other poor fool who is single. They can even fix the two of you up!
What if next time this happens, you are able to say, “No thanks, I’m happy being single”? What if you actually meant it? What if I told you that there are people who are happy just where they are in life and are okay with whatever plan is in store for them? They are even excited about being single!
Sounds great, right? But, how exactly does one do that?
Here are some ideas to ponder upon to encourage living your life to the fullest—single.
Trust where you are. How much of your adult life have you been part of a romantic relationship? If the answer is more than half, you probably need to be single right now. People need alone time to discover who they are—and who they are not. Staying open minded and trusting your path will help you learn and grow from being single right now. Whether we like it or not, relationships change us. They are supposed to, otherwise they wouldn’t have existed. But, they move on for a reason. Here’s where you can choose to grow from each experience instead of wallowing in the past or anticipating the future. Trust that everything is right on time.
Get to know yourself again. Take the time being single to date yourself for a while. Learn what you like, what makes you tick, what makes you relaxed and happy. Love and care for yourself—same as you would if you were loving and caring from someone else whom you love. Take long hot bubble baths, read a novel or self help book, spend time outside, journal all your thoughts and feelings, stay physically active, discover new pastimes as well as rekindling new ones. Sure you may be hurting from a breakup or loneliness, but taking care of yourself and healing those wounds can be a very important self discovery period. Don’t skip over this part too quickly…it is the most fun.
Hang out with friends. Make time for friends. Being single opens up the opportunity to meet new people and form new friendships. Do what you love and seek out others who do the same. Friends are your helpers on earth—same as a relationship—there to help you grow. Cherish your friends. They will pick you up when you’re feeling down.
Enjoy your freedom. Not the kind of freedom you’re thinking of…I don’t mean endless one night stands with no emotional content. I’m talking about the simple things in life: Eating. Sleeping. Hanging out with friends. Walking around naked. Control of the tv. Spur of the moment plans.
Don’t you want to just lie around in your pjs on your day off because there is no one to impress? Don’t you love taking naps without being questioned why? Eating whatever you want without going through the endless “I don’t know, what do you want to eat”? All these things are part of being in a relationship and it’s taxing for most, so being single eliminates all of that. It takes a lot of stress out of life—seriously.
Spend time with children and the elderly. If you don’t have kids of your own, spend time with those of friends or family. They will help remind you of a time of discovery and innocence. Spending time with the elderly will encourage you that everything will be okay, that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself while building resilience.
Do everything you ever wanted. Chase your dreams. Be bold. Let go of what is holding you back and make decisions based on what is good for you (and your children, if applicable) and what feels right. Let your inner spirit guide you. Nothing is holding you back but the fear of letting go and stepping into the unknown. Embrace yourself and your current circumstances or you will never know how good it could be.