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Grumpy Grandma - The Golden Arches

Oct 03, 2016 03:55PM ● By Grumpy Grandma

Bonjour ma Cajun friends—it’s me again; opinionated columnist and general know-it-all Mrs. Nettie Mae Avec Domino.

Well Ain’t Dat Nice!

I love the Fall (dat’s Autumn for you Yanks). The leaves change colors and the weather gets cooler, which is good, because I ain’t had a working A/C in the ole Buick since about 1982. Anyway, the utter evening I was driving to town and passing through the Jefferson Street underpass when all of a sudden, there it was! Big bright lights! I thought I had died! I could see the Golden Arches to Heaven and the Pearly gates! I gazed at the massive beauty in the sky and marveled at its glow. I found myself hypnotized as my thoughts wondered of days gone by. I heard a horn and thought… It’s Gabriel and he’s calling me home! I hear more horns, but there not playing a song? Then I hear horns blasting and tires screeching!!! Knowing I still needed to repent for dat night at the China Ball Club, I’m thinking I must be in purgatory!  

Then, I blinked my eyes a few times and realized a damn mosquito had flown in my eye an my vision to blurred. Next thing I know, people are giving me the one finger salute. Mon dieu, I had just run through the Red Light under the new Downtown sign!!!  

I almost saw the Pearly Gates just because I thought I was looking at the Pearly Gates! Pas Bon y’all… But dat sure is a nice sign.

You don’t think so?

In my column last month I mentioned that I was an Ole Bayou Queen. Well apparently, I still have a few admirers. But surprisingly, I also found out I have a few ole haters.

To my admirers, how could I forget the festival of 63, did I not mention purgatory? As for the haters—well, haters are gonna hate and it ain’t my fault y’all didn’t win, so y’all can all bec mon chu!  

Come on people, you gotta be nice to get nice!

Until next time, Au revoir y’all,

Nettie Mae

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